Unwind

Take me higher,
Make me fall.
Tricky desires,
Standing tall.

Turn around,
Look inside.
For nothing’s wrong
and no one’s right.

நீ சிற்பி ஆகிடவே,
நான் கல்லானேன்.
எத்தனை சிலை செய்வாயட?
கல்லும் கறையும், தெரியாத?

Blue Shoes

I usually shrug off pleasant memories. Else they would mean too much. But this one refused to be.
Shrugged off, I mean.

* * * *

It was exactly like that 2 minute dream before the waking second. It grew, frame by frame.. it melted, it smiled and winked at me as I lived through it. Waking life, I call it.

There were rehearsals that ran in lengths of many days and endless nights. I remember those blue shoes too. They seemed to suit me well. Pretty silver ribbons to ballet with my lady like blue skirt, red roses, and good luck wishes.

And the fall! How can I forget the fall? Gracefully, in slow motion – like it would be my last and like I can’t fall any lower. More perfect than all my rehearsals. And then the freeze…

Like in a trance, the rest of the cast swirls in circles and leaps, while my eyes search through the space to fill the void that could kill me. That is the moment. The split second when the spots are on you. Of applause, of fame, of smiles and crystal drops of tears.

My twelve year struggle understood me.

கணீருக்கு காரணம் உண்டோ?

குறை கொண்ட கோதையின்
கொஞ்சும் குறள் கேட்டது.
கண்ணீரின் காரணமாய்
கண்ணிரண்டும் கலங்கியது.

கல்லறை கதவுகள்
கண்ணாடி கல்வெட்டாகிட
கணா கண்டவளை கைபிடித்திழுத்தது.

கணவில் கலவாட
கதை கூட காணுமடி;
காற்றும் கைத்தட்டும்
கருத்தை காபாற்றடி.

கற்கண்டும் கசக்குமடி
கற்பூரம் கருகுமடி
கல் நெஞ்சுக்கனவனுடன், அது
காலம் கொண்ட காதலடி.

பொன்னுதயீ

ஒத்தை அடி பாதையிலே
ஊர்வலமாய் போறவளே
கண் மூடும் நேரத்திலே
இமை ஓரம் அழுபவளே

தங்க மயில் தோகையுடன்
வேஷம் உணக்கேனடி?
காதோரம் குறை சொல்ல
தாமதம் தவறாகுமடி!

Fragile Dreams.

"I worry, I weigh three times my body
I worry, I throw my fear around
But this morning, there's a calm I can't explain
The rock candy's melted, only diamonds now remain”

- John Mayer found Clarity, perhaps. I hadnt.

The words echoed in an infinite loop. Thoughts pressing hard against my skull, I feel pain. Images have that in them, the ability to bring to life, situations or emotions that words don’t do justice to.

A family portrait? A roller coaster? Dad in it? A kid in him? Strawberries, the moon, my first bicycle, car keys, the last moments before a new life, so much more. Sometimes you hope to get used to life. Many times we live that life just hoping to cope with it. May be I belonged to the second category.

Stuck in time, fearing the void that’s swarming all around, tearing away from that helpless feeling I turn towards the window, and watch the glass sink inside.

I see a kid balancing an act on its bike, the dad running right behind.

I see myself nod as I say “there are some things money can’t buy”. Life smiles back at me. Peace.

for one more Minute

She has been waiting a whole hour to get there. Those secrets unable to travel the distance, waiting and staring at oblivion. All she wants is that one minute with him. So close, so near.

When their shadows will overlap.
When they are two souls in one.
When she can whisper into him, how she yearns to unite.

I saw them that night; So near, yet so far. With secrets untold, and hands that never met. Like lovers from epics, like dreams that feared dawn; they remained distant. Forever frozen with fear.