Fragile Dreams.

"I worry, I weigh three times my body
I worry, I throw my fear around
But this morning, there's a calm I can't explain
The rock candy's melted, only diamonds now remain”

- John Mayer found Clarity, perhaps. I hadnt.

The words echoed in an infinite loop. Thoughts pressing hard against my skull, I feel pain. Images have that in them, the ability to bring to life, situations or emotions that words don’t do justice to.

A family portrait? A roller coaster? Dad in it? A kid in him? Strawberries, the moon, my first bicycle, car keys, the last moments before a new life, so much more. Sometimes you hope to get used to life. Many times we live that life just hoping to cope with it. May be I belonged to the second category.

Stuck in time, fearing the void that’s swarming all around, tearing away from that helpless feeling I turn towards the window, and watch the glass sink inside.

I see a kid balancing an act on its bike, the dad running right behind.

I see myself nod as I say “there are some things money can’t buy”. Life smiles back at me. Peace.

for one more Minute

She has been waiting a whole hour to get there. Those secrets unable to travel the distance, waiting and staring at oblivion. All she wants is that one minute with him. So close, so near.

When their shadows will overlap.
When they are two souls in one.
When she can whisper into him, how she yearns to unite.

I saw them that night; So near, yet so far. With secrets untold, and hands that never met. Like lovers from epics, like dreams that feared dawn; they remained distant. Forever frozen with fear.

கருவளையம்

இரவுகள் பகலாய் தினம் வேஷம் போட;
ஈரேழு ஜன்மங்கள் நான் நடித்த ஞாபகம்.
கணீர் கம்பளத்தில் கடைசுகம் தேட;
உப்பினால் காயங்கள், சுட்டேரிந்த சித்திரம்!

சாக்ஷி

முழித்திருந்தேன்.
காத்திருந்தேன்.
கார் மேகம் மௌனமாய் கடந்து செல்வதை பார்த்திருக்கேன்.

காகித பூக்களிலும்
அசையா காற்றினிலும் துணைகொண்டேன்.
நீ எங்கே போனாயடி?

Lucid Dreams

I lay awake. I stay still.
I witness the purple sky whistle past in silence.
The scent of paper flowers and the sound of silence add to the inertness of life around.
I lie inside myself for endless hours.
I run, I fall, I scream, I drown.
I dream, with eyes wide shut of the story where I lay awake.

A broken vase. Withered Flowers.

Little hope, small wishes, eager eyes and a dirty doll to cling onto; that was all she had with her. She smelt dust, and could see very little. She could hear faint noises of people screaming and the sound of machines and tough men. She couldn’t tell if it was night or day. She tried hard to recall, her thoughts refused to spin past the last mug of milk that she drank the previous night. She remembered she wore a pretty pink frock, but she could hardly recognize it anymore. It looked more of black with patches of visible pink.

* * *

Closing her eyes, she went back to her tidy room.

The curtains, the breeze, the warmth of her bedspread and the small streak of light from her table lamp seemed to bring back hope. She hugged her soft toy close and cuddled herself to a comfortable curve. Smiling at her dreams she left the world of reality.

* * *

‘Aargh’ She screamed out. Something scratched her back hard and suddenly there was blinding light. She could hear clearly, she smelt some fresh air, she understood very little. There were mobs of men, women and children speaking simultaneously. There was nothing but chaos all around. She was helped out of those layers of debris.

Holding tight to the doll on her left, she tugged at the man who held her by her lil finger. ‘Where is my mother?’, she asked him.

Little hope, small wishes, eager eyes and a dirty doll to cling onto; that was all she had with her.

* * *

முடிவுரை

இன்று போல் ஓர் இருண்ட இரவில்
இடுகாடின் தனிமை சூழ
தென்றல் எனை மெரட்டி செல்கையில்
ஞாபகங்கள் தாலாட்டுதே!